Fox Smoulder #1013

I have been a Home Team Captain going on two seasons and this will be my first season as a full member of training committee. One of the most difficult (and necessary) things you need to do in these roles is learn how to effectively communicate. 

And there is not one right way to do this. If you know derby girls then you know that each one of us is a unique, sparkly butterfly and we are all very different. Which means you need to make sure you communicate yourself differently all the time. 

Some girls need direct, to-the-point talk; others need to hear 9 compliments before they can hear a criticism; some need to be emailed; some don’t care if you call them out in front of others;… you get the point. 

Everyday I learn something new about my teammates or league members and I always strive to write practices that are very clear and easy to explain. (There is nothing worse then picking a drill that no one understands and you have to explain it for 5 minutes but after 3 mins half the league is off chasing shiny objects). 

There is one personality that I have yet to find effective way to communicate with. And that is the “It’s not me, it’s you/everyone but me” personality. If you have a girl like this in your league then you probably hear things like, “I couldn’t do that drill because I couldn’t hear you explain it”, “I was doing it right but then so-and-so told me something different”, “I couldn’t get the jammer because so-and-so tripped me”, “I can’t do that because every single trainer taught me wrong for the past 2 years”, and on, and on, and on. 

I do not know how to help someone improve if absolutely nothing is in their control. How to you communicate with someone that will not take responsibility for ANY of their actions? 

I feel like I have failed as a Captain and a Trainer because I have tried EVERYTHING in my power to reach players like this but nothing seems to work. I don’t know whether I should keep trying or just drop it. All I know is that I am getting a pretty big headache from banging my head on the wall so much.