Fox Smoulder #1013

derbymusings:

In no particular order, and in my opinion:

CHAOS ON THE BENCH

Chaos on the bench leads to mistakes in lineups, pantie issues, overlooking of penalty box and skaters with penalties, anxiety, frustration, rage, and everything bad! keep it calm on the bench! how? well, in my experience self run benches with two lines and stagnant skaters on each line run themselves very smoothly with even game play for all and next to no stress.  This leaves your coach to coach, fancy that! and your bench manager to track penalties and panties.

STRATEGY BEING YELLED AT YOU FROM THE SIDELINES

“Get on her!” “Man on man!” “Call it!” Plan your shit out before you step out onto the track, ‘cause you know what, sideline coaching doesn’t work. and if your main strategy is ” Get Annie Sk8r “, guess what, you’re going to lose - Annie Sk8r has 4 other girls playing with her.

YOU’RE NOT BRINGING IT BACK TO THE BASICS

Strategy is a HUGE part of derby, huge! But, if you can’t perform a simple booty block, if you can’t differentiate between offense and defense, and if you can’t sustain a good derby stance - you’re going to be outskated. and you’re going to lose. (yes, I enjoy the oxford comma)

YOUR JAMMERS DON’T TRUST YOUR BLOCKERS

Jammers who don’t trust their blockers look for the dark side, they battle through walls impatiently and pull minor penalties on every pass, they end up in the box, and then you lose. 

YOUR BLOCKERS DON’T TRUST YOUR JAMMERS

Blockers who don’t trust their jammers will end up bridging out of play skaters, they will take their eyes off the prize (opposing jammer, what!), they will block ineffectively, and then you lose.

YOUR WARM UP/INTRO SUCKED

The way you warm up is the way you’re going to play.  If you’re a lazy FUCK warming up, guess what? you’re going to get outskated and outplayed and you’re going to lose.  Your team introduction serves as a tool for the audience to know who you are, but it should also get you amped and ready to go.  If you’re not amped, you’re going to lose.

YOU DIDN’T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HALF TIME

You better quit kissing on your man/ladyfriend and get to the locker room.  Half time is still game time and you need to stay in the game.  It’s good to point out positives, but criticisms had better be present or else you will change nothing. and you will lose.

YOU’RE A “SECOND PERIOD” TEAM

Hey! Guess what? It takes 60 minutes to win a game - not 30. You lose.

Welp, those are my opinions, what are yours?

p.s. I googled and found the image here and photoshopped it.. at my desk.

(via jolly-pop)